Depression is:
REAL......it's not a mood.....for some it's working through a rough patch in life.....for others it's managing it for a lifetime......
Sinking so low you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.....
Wanting more than anything to feel normal.....Trying so hard to dig out, but you slip all the way down again.....
Trying really, really hard not to cry......all the time......
Finding every excuse under the sun not to attend a function......screening phone calls because you just can't "fake it till you feel it" anymore.......
Wanting to be a Christian who represents my Lord with excellence.....
Striving to be the "right" wife....
Desiring to function so that my kids won't "know".....and not wanting to screw them up....
Wondering if they all really, really need my crazy in their life.....
Wishing you could fulfill your families expectations.....let's face it I will never be good enough to be the daughter or sister that fits into "their" box.....
Setting out the Halloween decorations to try to feel festive, setting out the Thanksgiving decorations to try to feel thankful, setting out the Christmas decorations to try to get into the Christmas spirit.......
Wanting desperately for family and friends not to judge me, not to tease me, and not to give me crap for taking medication......wanting it so desperately that you stop taking meds to seek approval.......then the cycle slowly starts over again.......
Wishing desperately that people would understand that you can't "snap" out of depression, there are ups and downs, there are times when coping is not a problem, but there are also times when coping is the hardest thing to do......
Sometimes alienating friends and family.........
I will say this.....I'm thankful for my Lord who never ever gives up on me.....everyday he gives me a brand new start.......
I'm thankful to my husband as we work through our "crazy" together.....
I'm thankful for my sweet boys who love me, just becuase......
I'm thankful for several most precious friendships!!! These girls, who amongst their own busy lives and own turmoil, cheer me on, pray me on, talk me on.....they see beyond their own bubble in life and know when a friend is hurting...they take time they don't have to invest in helping a friend through a really rough spot in life.....
I'm thankful for prayers.....medication.....therapists......and the ugly, honest truth!!!
